Wedding Wednesday with Em Series | Virginia Wedding Photographer
Today’s Wedding Wednesday with Em post is extra special!! I always share about working with my Emily Hancock Brides and couples but never go into the behind the scenes of working with parents and families!! Some of my couples are fortunate to have help from their parent planning their wedding day but that can also be stressful on their relationship!
I’m not sure there is a manual or proper education out there for working with your daughter when planning for a wedding but I am sure there is a need for that! I’m not a mom yet but I know that when planning my wedding, my parents wanted my wedding day to be my best day ever, memorable, and remain in budget. So of course there is some compromising and key decisions that come into play when planning.
Planning a wedding with a millennial can be difficult on the budget because we have grown up with social media, Pinterest, and beautiful wedding blogs. So our creativity for wedding planning can sometimes be excessive to someone who grew up with a phone attached to a wall on a cord (& no social media). So to help my future bride’s and their moms with wedding planning, I thought about interviewing some parents throughout the year! Who knows better than a mom who just planned a wedding for their daughter?!
This can be a very vulnerable post to share, I know, because often times we don’t want to admit how hard it is to plan a wedding with our parents/kids. So with grace and respect, I asked this sweet mother of the bride, Misty, about her experience planning Callie’s wedding. I absolutely LOVED her responses to these questions and so wish I could work with this sweet family again.
Misty has such a fresh perspective to share to all the mother of the brides out there! I am so excited to share her experience and hope that her recent experience in the world of weddings helps you plan a wedding with your daughter!
Check out Callie & Buff’s Wedding day Blog Post HERE!
Interview with Misty | EHP Mother of the Bride
What was your favorite memory of the planning process?
Callie would come over and we’d get on the computer and make lots of decisions right on the spot. It was a ton of fun to watch her and see how decisive she was.
Do you have any resources that were helpful?
Gran, my mom gave Callie a planner with every detail possible. It was a wonderful resource to keep us on track with the time frame needed for each piece of the planning process.
What was your least favorite memory of the planning process?
Trying to figure out how many tablecloths we needed. Lol! What was one of your favorite moments on the wedding day you’ll always remember? Callie and Buff laughing as they walked down the aisle and you all captured that moment with a beautiful photo! Also, Callie and Buff gave handwritten cards to their siblings, parents and grandparents. It was such a sweet gift they gave us on their special day.
Callie and Buff chose to have an unplugged ceremony. How do you think that impacted the ceremony? and would you recommend this approach?)
Yes! I felt like everyone was totally present and enjoyed the wedding without thinking about their phones and taking pictures. The pictures you and James took captured all their special moments. Your photographs are stunning and you all gave us the memories we will all cherish for all time.
What was one thing that surprised you that you didn’t plan for?
Callie had the DJ play our wedding song! It was a super thoughtful gesture on her special day to include us like that.
What was something that you wish you hired a professional to do?
Because the weather kept changing, it had an impact on my hairdo, lol so I wish I’d hired someone to do our hair onsite.
What is something you wish you had done differently?
We rented tablecloths and had to iron them for the rehearsal and wedding. It took a tremendous amount of time and multiple people ironing for many hours. I would recommend looking at other options than doing it yourself.
What was something that stood out to you that one of the vendors did on the wedding day?
I can’t pick just one! Everyone did an excellent job! It was amazing how everyone worked together. You and James showed up and took wonderful pictures as they were all getting ready. Then after the wedding you had a list of pictures for the family to take, so no one would be left out. That went quickly and everyone felt included.
Derek, our DJ came to talk with Callie when they were getting ready because we thought it might rain. He assured her that everything was going to me ok, not to worry. He was incredible and ran the entire reception to perfection. Everything went as planned and he engaged the crowd. He talked with the grandmothers and asked what songs they would like to hear.
Melba, owner of the Pavilion at Black Water Junction was on site and helped the caterer get the additional table she needed quickly. They worked together well making sure the food was out on time.
Nora, owner of Farmhouse Catering did a fantastic job with the food and I was pleasantly surprised that she had two people serving the food, so it stayed warm and plentiful. Mary and Austin, our friends were awesome bartenders and took care of people fast!
What was your favorite part about the wedding venue? Why did you and Callie pick this spot?
The outdoor setting was perfect for Callie and Buff. My favorite part was the arch because the greenery around it grew untamed and as nature would have it. It was an incredible backdrop.
What is some advice or tips for other mothers of the bride about to start this journey of wedding planning with their daughters?
It’s a balancing act…I wanted Callie’s wedding to be everything that she wanted so I tried to “back off” a bit. There were a few times when I just had to wait until the timing was right to bring up suggestions. One example, is in an attempt to save money they were thinking we could cater the wedding ourselves. After Callie talked to peers, she decided we should get a caterer. This took so much pressure off us. Yes, it cost more, but it was totally worth it.
At one point during the planning, we had some miscommunication. Callie felt like I was not giving input or suggestions enough and I thought I was helping by not saying anything. My advice would be, if the bride asks your option, mom/dad, let her know your thoughts, whether she takes your advice or not. Keep the dialogue open!
Since you are celebrating over 25 years of marriage what is a piece of advice for newly weds?
We’ve been together for 30 years and married over 28 years.
Each one of you is a complete person; you do not complete each other. You’re two different people in the universe who decided to make a life together. Remember daily that you’re together of your own choosing. Put your relationship first and others thereafter. Celebrate your individually and give each other space to continue to grow while cheering each other on. Kahlil Gibran said it best in his book “The Prophet” on marriage:
“But let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another, but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping, For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”
Bonus: Any other advice, tips, comments, etc for parents of the bride or groom?
We had our turn to make our wedding day special and now it’s our child’s turn to do the same. The best gift we can give them is our loving support by uplifting them and celebrating their choices/decisions. Make the entire process as easy on them as possible and have fun making memories along the way! All the best to you and yours!!
Comment below if you are a mom planning a wedding with your daughter!! What is something you are looking forward to? Let me know if you have any questions! 🙂
Check out Callie & Buff’s Wedding day Blog Post HERE!
Vendors for this wedding day:
Venue: The Pavilion at Blackwater Junction
Catering: Farmhouse Catering and Meals To Go
Wedding Dress: David’s Bridal
Bridesmaids Dresses: Azazie
Seamstress: Sew Right LLC of Roanoke
Until next time,
Emily
